Episode 12-Barry Shay Karcher

This week’s Alone contestant interview is with Barry Shay Karcher, from season 6 of the Alone show!

Transcript:

Sam 0:14

Hello, and welcome to episode 12 of the alone podcast. Before we get started with today's episode, we've got another review to read from Apple podcasts. So again, a huge thank you to everyone who's taking the time to go to Apple podcasts and leave a review and leave a comment. It definitely means a lot to me to be able to see and hear what your experiences are, as you're listening to, to the show and listening to this project. So with that today's review comes from social media gal. So social media. Yeah, thank you especially. And she says this. So happy I discovered this podcast to fill the void between alone seasons. I enjoy learning more about the folks participated in the show. But I'm still left wondering if Megan's tooth is okay. So again, thank you social media gal. And yeah, you're you're very right, we did not talk at all about Megan's teeth. For those that don't remember, don't know, at the end of Megan's time on alone, she had injured some teeth. And I believe that was part of the decision for her to leave the show was was those teeth. And so I was able to reach out to Megan and ask her that question for social media gal to see how those teeth are doing. And Megan said that she actually had two crowns put in to fix the broken molars after the show. But she's all good now. So thank you again for that review. And Megan, thank you for taking the time to answer that question and making a little, little appearance here on the episode. So with that, let's go ahead and get started with episode 12 of the alone podcast. Tonight's guest is Barry Karcher from season six of alone. Barry, thank you so much for taking the time to be with us tonight and to share your stories with us. Obviously, yeah, so what I'll do is just take a quick second and kind of go through some some bio. And I think that maybe we're going to have some discussions about bio later on. But so Barry, like I just mentioned was on season six of alone. He is an accomplished martial artist doing Krav Maga. He's done a lot of protection work. And in what we'll talk about the bio, the reason why I'm being kind of cagey, there's very just put some stuff on Facebook that I think is interesting and fascinating. But according to the History Channel bio, Barry's been hunting and fishing and trapping since he was nine years old. And I think they even put in there that you've got some great ancestral skills. Yeah. So we'll we'll talk about that history channel by Oh, go ahead. Yeah, well, we'll get into that here in just a little bit. But it's, I guess, very well start off with if you can just kind of give us a little bit of a background on yourself and kind of give us what you would say your biography is and who you are.

Barry Shay Karcher 3:02

It was my biography. Okay, so I grew up, I grew up extremely poverty. My family, we moved around and we were gipsy. We, you know, unfortunately had to bow Peter to pay Paul sometimes. And my youth was, was perfect in my youth was again lost whenever I was a father 15. I grew up with a daughter and a son. It was important to me to be a chameleon growing up, it's important for me to be able to fit in because we move so much. I used to be really good at sales. And be really good at reading a room and reading people and being able to assess and make that make that kind of knowledge worked out for me. I used to be extremely driven for money. I think that money was going to be the big prize for for my time here on this planet. Because I didn't have it growing up. I used to be extremely I used to be an extremely scared man protecting a little boy inside. A lot of all of my decisions were made out of ego. I used to make every decision to protect that ego because I need to protect the little boy and I heard a lot of people along the way. I used to be a caustic Apple primarily again, because letting you but again, jeopardize that little boy. I grew up in an abusive household, not just physically but verbally, mentally. was a shit show. I thought a lot all the time. I was always getting fired from a friend from school. I got back to college. And then went back to college. And I finished a two you middle degree. I used to want to be a healer and a helper, I thought that was the thing I would be good at it read down so much harm in my life. So my life kind of gravitate in that direction. I'm a father of two young children on divorce, lost my wife. And that opportunity to get from the changes that came from the show. And currently, currently, who I am, is I'm essentially I'm a nomad. I left my career I work with my hands, I'm a carpenter. I don't have really the same passions that I used to have before the show all my wants and desires of different peoples are based around a different set of moral values. And I have dreams of being an actor, I want to I want to I want to explore characters, I want to bring those characters to life. And I want to touch people with our therapists. So I guess in short, your man

Sam 6:28

Yeah, I love how you how you put that in, there's, there's a lot of stuff there to get into a lot of things I've wanted to discuss. But I think where you ended off with, you're healed, man, I think we'll start there. Something that I've noticed as I've gone through kind of your social media feeds, is that you're very passionate about men's mental health. And that's something that you talk about quite a bit. I think you've certainly just talked quite a bit about that mental health and and, you know, maybe we'll call it the patriarchy, right? This this need to, to be whatever a manly images in society. And it brings back some memories to me from your clips on alone. And obviously, there's kind of some folly with discussing how the show portrayed a certain moment, because it doesn't always, you know, it isn't always what it appears to be. But I'm remembering a moment where you were in your shelter, I believe. And you were talking about how, you know, men have to be strong and how you had to be how you felt like you had to be strong and tough. And, and you couldn't give in you couldn't quit and you couldn't do these things. But it was driven by, you know, what I would think was potentially this unhealthy sense of what it means to be a man or to be a person. And there was kind of a breakdown moment involved with that. Is that something is that part of that whole experience? As you say, You're a healed man and can you talk about that?

Barry Shay Karcher 7:59

Yeah. Very low I 40 years without being a person. Man, very shape culture, you know. And my entire life has been a series of decisions

that has purposely kept out of this EP blackmill will refer to it as an EP black. Okay. And this blackness effect all at all times, is trying to find a way in and oftentimes, we're very, very good at being able to distract ourselves from it. We have music, emails, loved one, comfort foods, our gym, at all of these first world amenities. And preventing us from ever really having to break down the ego and take a hard look in. I had built up the bullshit persona of the big, strong tattoos, Mohawk beard is tough. And I had become extremely good at making sure nobody can hurt. But what I came to understand, I think we're all martial artists, somebody saying the enemy you don't see. That's the biggest threat. And because I was never looking inward. Whenever I finally got out there into the isolation my biggest enemy stepped up. Like it was myself. And that was that was something I had tried to avoid for a very long

Sam 9:59

time. Did you know? You know, I guess for me, for example, I went through a time in my life where, you know, I claimed that I was happy and that I claimed that I was doing well. You know, but for me, it was one of those things where I claimed I was happy. And I claimed I was doing well. But inside I knew I wasn't because, you know, you mentioned music. You know, for me, I use the example of once the music stopped, I felt all of that go away, right. And so I knew personally that I had a problem. I just didn't want to face it. Did you know that you were putting up? I guess, did you know you were protecting yourself when you were kind of building that persona of who Barry Karcher was back then?

Barry Shay Karcher 10:46

No, because the okay. So like the building practices took on different throughout the, throughout the sections of my right. So early on me learning how to dodge a punch was because of my dad, later on learning how to dodge a punch because of fights on the street. Later on learning how to diversify adoptive parents was because I wanted to be a better stringency and saying I feel like the evolution of the of the development of that person, very Karcher the person that went on the show. He those things were happening subconsciously. And back. And that's where we where we come to identify a lot of the hotspots where we where we come to name, title, a toxic masculinity traits. A lot of us see the behavior of men, and we get to that topic, and it's a shame. It's unfortunate, because we never really get to the root cause of why. So what we do is we don't understand why. Why little barriers or how to throw a punch, why highschool bear need to throw a punch, and now why the adult Barry really has no absolute desire what is so wherever in the world with cell phones, like it's all about the development in the kind of place that I was, it's all being done subconsciously. So I had no clue that throughout my life as this was happening, and I was like, Oh, yes, I'm doing this to protect that damaged inner child. No, I never. I didn't think that I wasn't very wasn't very wasn't that evil for God?

Sam 12:38

Well, I mean, it sounds like it sounds like Barry had to start surviving. To Young. Right. And, and I think when when the human has to start surviving in that way at such a young age, you know, nothing's off the table. And so I think that makes sense. To me. It resonates with me what you're saying for sure. And I mean, was it? Was it just the alone experience? And then coming home that that stripped that? I mean, did you go into Alone? That one? Barry Karcher the one protecting that little boy, as you put it? And then, you know, what was that evolution? Like? And can you kind of talk through that as far as on the show and having to deal with yourself and having to decide who you were and learn about the true self? And then where you are today?

Barry Shay Karcher 13:33

Well, the experience was unlike anything I've ever everything I've ever thought I could have ever experienced in my entire life. Ever. I've come from tough times. I've come from lean times. I've been cold. I've been hungry for that kind of stuff. But this is different. A lot of people, a lot of people beer in life. Say something like they want to run a marathon? Well, you have the mental, the physical and the spiritual aspect of anything in your life. You know, maybe maybe it's mental. Or maybe it's more mental for somebody and it's more physical for other people. And maybe it's a combination of spiritual and physical for some people but rarely ever, ever, ever, ever, ever in life are the mental the spiritual and the physical crank to a level. You know, we moderate so much of our comfort zone. And even when we think we're outside of our comfort zones, we're really bullshitting ourselves, but we enjoy that part of it. Are human like to believe or something Other than organic material. But we, we give ourselves all the First World pat on the back. You know what I mean? And that's what I had done. My whole life has been a series of first world pat on the back. Oh, congratulations, you survived an abusive father. Yeah, a lot of people do. So congratulations, you survived poverty. People do. And the fact of the matter is, is that it probably wouldn't have been possible if we weren't already in a first world scenario anyway. So, like, I look at all the struggles throughout my life now, almost as a public comedian, because everything I've struggled through, supposedly has been a first book struggle to happen. So, you know, whenever I came out of the show, with understand, I had built an entire life around the First World pat on the back. And then I came out, completely cleansed, and free of the nonsensical garbage that I had wrapped the life around and no longer for. I didn't, it doesn't serve me to be the kid who survived. Abuse, water matters, there's a third means to be like the beautiful father, and sacrifice your child doesn't. And that's the problem you're gonna find. With me, I think, for the rest of my life is I'm absolutely Uberman. You know, I am the Ubermensch. And it's hard now to readjust to a society that can cleanly just pat themselves on the back or the personal accomplishments. And I have to interact with that, but yeah, it's the show, the show that really put everything into perspective, boil down saltwater, now, let me recall, and the thought of the issue is, I've had to get my head around. I just needed to be bad, but I have a reason to be mad, I have a reason to push myself a little further and prove that person wrong. It was just a big, big waste of energy and time. And it's hard, the entire world running around doing.

Sam 17:33

Yeah, it's, you know, I spent in here, I am going to give myself a virtual pat on the back, I spent a decent chunk of time, you know, commuting, you know, eight miles to and from work each way, either on foot running, you know, on a bike or whatever. And I thought it was pretty cool for a while, right? Like, I'm commuting on foot, I'm commuting, I'm on bike, whatever, didn't use my car for like, you know, a year basically. And a couple of months into that whole exercise, I realized that there were people around me every single day that I would pass and cross in the streets who were commuting to and from work on foot and on bike. Because they had to. And like I thought I was cool, because I had the luxury position to be able to do that. Right. And like it was a luxury for me to be able to commute that way. But there were so many people that that's how they had to commute, they didn't have another choice based on where they were at that moment in time. And I think that's what you're talking about, right? Is this you know, we give ourselves these Pat's on the back, when in reality, it's just, it's just it is what it is. But for you with your experience on alone, how, how long into your time there? Did this stripping away of, of the old berries start to happen? I mean, was it did it take a couple of weeks before it started to break you down? Or how how quickly did that start to happen?

Barry Shay Karcher 19:04

But nonetheless, but it was up? Like I was out of my depth? You know what I mean? Like okay, so like a lot of people don't don't know, my true how I got on the Alone story. You know, there's ways to get on a Alone, there's like, people can refer you who have been on the show talent, searchers or talent, you know, we don't look at Instagram pages and seek people out and introduce themselves. Me I'm just a regular dude, I just apply like everybody else. But I was applying online. And I what I did was I applied every Monday for six weeks, until I finally heard something bad. And then once I heard something bad, it was basically a scramble for me to become a survivalist.

Sam 19:59

Yeah, right. Uh, so I want to preface this. So we kind of I kind of was teasing this out earlier, but so a couple weeks ago, Barry posted something on Facebook and the gist of it is that this Facebook post that just it was basically people are coming to Barry or to you saying, hey, how do I get on the show? And this Facebook post was basically like, you play a role, like, you know, and you'd gone on to explain how you played a role to get on the show. And how, you know, the the person that was presented to the in the application process wasn't necessarily the person that showed up for boot camp. And so just to kind of give that background and then if you can continue with that.

Barry Shay Karcher 20:45

Yeah. Okay, so yeah, no, I'm not that. Like, I've got like, I can't, no, I can't like, but normal human. Like, I took drinks and food and all the amenities. But I did that a little bit. The I trapped my first animal on the show, I didn't I never grew up trapping right into that. I've moved around too much. There was never in stability in my life where I could establish that kind of a skill set. You don't I mean, if we didn't have food, my dad stole potatoes. That's what he did. That's, that's real. That's real. So yeah, whenever I, whenever I started applying for the show, is because I wanted to win a half a million dollars. And because also at the same time, I kind of had that I kind of had that armchair quarterback view of the show, where I thought, Man, I mean, like I can take a beating. I know I can take a beating with customers, I've been through a lot of like, physical stuff. Surely I can laugh. You know, at that time, when I was watching season five, or whatever it was, there were there wasn't really a lot of people out there overnight. And I thought I could have been that long for half a million dollars. So I started preparing for the role of my life. I began researching on YouTube, I wouldn't get a library card for the first time since I was in middle school. I checked out books I started reading, and something about me is that I have a photographic memory. I have the ability to retain information pretty quickly and easily. And I'm extremely, extremely high ability to be ingenuitive in situations because I've always watched my family you know, build something out of nothing. For that, I started playing a role. And that role was the role of a survival. So I began adopting all of my social media media. I started putting all of all of these videos and me doing things that normally I wouldn't do. I would merely watch a YouTube video in the morning and in the afternoon, I'll be putting my own BBs regurgitating the same information up on

Sam 23:06

this Miss cram session, this cram session started right when you apply it is that is that right?

Barry Shay Karcher 23:12

Yo, actually acquired that case. So this is something crazy. Well, I was already kind of like goof around in the Colorado mountains. And I didn't want to buy a lot of gear. Because it's expensive. And it's ridiculous. I don't do it all the time. So I just started going out and like as a minimalist, just working with just like a knife. When I started doing that everybody was like, Oh my God, that's so cool, man. You can go out there with a knife. And that's all you do. And I was like, really? You think that's cool? So I was like, Oh, I'll run with it. I was like, okay, cool. Yeah, I'll be a minimalist, separate. I'll go up there and build shelters. And it was all it was. Everybody thinks it's so complicated. They pay these people big money to go all these courses. It's hard. Like, if you've ever played in the woods as a kid, it's the same thing. So that's what I started doing. I started playing in the woods once I started applying. And then once they told me then once I started getting further through the selection process because it's quite a lengthy process. I started stepping up my game I started becoming more and more of the characters. I started getting deeper into the role, researching more and more survivalist I was watching every single survival show I could because everything information and yeah, basically a cram session. When I got to boot camp, I knew I wasn't a survivalist like the people around you people were high school and they were wearing the clothes and the animal raikot which fit like that, like I was an actor. I was just trying to get on a show with half a million dollars. And so when it finally came to the boot camp day where we had to go and show off our skills, they given us like a list of items. It was like 15 I items that we had to bring with us from home. And then we had to pack the day before we went out. Three could show up our skills, build shelter, firewater, and all this other kind of stuff. So I was talking to my wife at the time, I told her I'd like you people, I was just I am, I am not sure I'm gonna do you know, I'm not sure I can take the funk over these people. And my wife's like, you give me something. And I was like I do. So what I decided to do was I only took out five of the 50 Nights. So I was sitting up there in my room, and everybody's going out to the bus with all their 15 items, 25 of us and then we're eventually they get whittled down to the 12 that go out. And I'm like, okay, man, all or nothing, you know, and that's how I've lived my whole life, like balls out all enough. And so I wrapped up five things that I that I would normally take up into the mountains in Colorado, whenever I could, I told you, I was like, Oh, I'll be a minimalist that sounds that people think that's cool. I'll do that. So I took the five things that I normally pick up in the mountains, and I went and did boot camp with it. And I think that was one of the things that separated me from all the people that had the really, really hardcore skill. I wasn't willing to risk it for the business. The other thing is being able to read a room. I mean, like, it helps that I've been in sales before. I can kind of sense from people what they were wanting to hear or wanting to feel or what they were wanting to get from me. I think a lot of people honestly, were also hoping that I would break and like day five or six, I think a lot of them wanted to kind of get off on the idea of breaking big puffy. And so I think they were looking forward to maybe that happening. But when it didn't, that that kind of backfired for him. So yeah, I was completely I was a dark horse, I just kind of I inserted behind enemy lines. And July 3, July 3, I got the phone call that I've been selected or that I've been I've been packing for the role of baby Carter. And yeah, that's how it happened pretty much gonna be more than I paid. I think the coordinator.

Sam 27:05

Was there. Was there any reality that hit when you got that phone call? Or did that not happen? When did the reality

Barry Shay Karcher 27:13

feel too much? There was still way too much ego that there was way too much. The reality is, whenever my booth was to do whatever, they got me off on my helicopter, and I forgot my hat. Yeah, yeah. Right, whenever, right? Whenever they took off, and they didn't come back. That's when I realized, Oh, my God, what am I done. That's when the depth and the theoretical cut up with the reality of what of what it was. Now, I actually had to actually not have to walk up, like, I thought it was Showtime, the cameras are on there. I mean, and that's how I view it, I view that very much like that, like it was a reality TV show. And I was filming myself. And this is a role, and I got to do this incredible opportunity. You know, and that's how I looked at I tried to set up my shot, you know, with the idea of like a movie kind of a, you know, foreground, middle ground background, I, you know, divided my screen and a third trying to put myself and you know, I had all of these artistic acts and other things to make sure that I could also tell a great story. That's what I wanted to do was get a lot of great footage so that I could tell the story because I completely trusted the editors and the directors and from there during the handling my footage. But very quickly, you know, I got out there realize, holy moly, man, there's no, there's no cut in watching. There's no scene there. There's your cameras rolling, and now it's showtime. And so at that point in time, yeah, it became very, very scary. But I had a I had a photographic memory. I just started going back to my rolodex of things I knew things I'd learned. And something that was really odd about me was the old berries. The old berry used to be one of those guys who like anything he tries, you know, he's just kind of a guy that was good at it. And like I thought it would be no different. You know, I mean, that's ego, stickiness, ego going out into Mother Nature and just thinking you can win. I mean, just ridiculous ego. And she, she bent me over for

Sam 29:34

is that the is that the variable? I mean, to me, I think it makes sense that the variable there that that makes the difference is that you know nature is something not to be trifled with, right?

Barry Shay Karcher 29:45

Well, it isn't. Here's the thing like to be honest, man, like I went in, I went in knowing a few things. And like I think my hands were tied in the way that I could hunt trap fish and put a lot of rules on my so all the hillbilly stuff that I As studied or anything like that I've learned from all my buddies in the past in the time that I had spent in the woods, because I'll be honest. I mean, when I growing up as a coffee whenever we were out in the woods, I mean, we weren't doing things by the book. So like, none of that stuff was viable. I mean, you couldn't, you couldn't do those methods job and putting us in the about so you have retired. So I thought, Well, my hands are already tied. You know, also, they're putting us out there September 9. You know, it's not like we're putting this in the spring where we had time to harvest and store or anything like that, for like I never even got to even tap in because though rolodexes mental Rolodex is I filed away my memory. Yeah, so it was I kind of knew that she isn't a shit chair from a job. So really, what I was thinking was, well, I've got to be tougher than anybody else out there. Does that answer your question?

Sam 31:00

Yeah. No, that that answers perfectly. I'm just, I'm just listening. Because again, I think I think it's such an incredible story. And, and I love how you, you had this transformation, I think, to me even more incredible than then how you got there is is is who you are, and how you came out of it. Just very, very impressed by that. So what can you kind of talk more in depth about that process and what it felt like, as you had to face that old self? You know, I guess you talk through that headspace and those feelings of, of recognizing and then moving forward.

Barry Shay Karcher 31:40

Yeah, no problem like I am. I remember this one video when we first started, and it had, man, I gotta be honest, like, I'm kind of over the show. Like, I don't really, like you're the first alone. The first point was brought up alone or anything like that. So like, I don't, I'm not I'm not like I'm alone. Like I I'm kind of Johnny Depp. Like, I don't watch my own movies. Even one the winner from season one. Alan, yeah, thank you. I win in this one videos that if you if you're going out there just for the money, you better check your read a check the reason that was like in this video that we all got shared before we went out. And it completely resonated with me, the only reason I was going out, like why in the hell while for a while, but I put myself like, I mean, it's not a good time. It's not like a it's not a fun time. And so I was out there for the money. Whenever he said that to me. He goes, Okay, so I said myself, well, that's something to think about. Like, what if I don't win? Because I hadn't my husband, I just was like, What am I don't? What am I going to get out of it? I don't want. And then like I had, like, a few days before launch? And I was like, well, that's a pretty good question. What am I hoping to get? And so then what I decided was that I was going to not stop any motion or feeling or thought or memory that came up, I wasn't going to set it under the rug. I've done 40 years before I chronic myself that I would address it and I would meditate on it. And I would come to a conclusion one way or the other over whether or not over it or whether I am going to we're going to work through this process. And that's a beautiful heartwarming concept. Whenever your belly full and you're warm and you're surrounded by people and you just got off the phone with the loved one you know, it's all sounds it sounds all sounds very doable. What eventually ended up happening out there was it started off slow. The easy blackness found a cheek in my armor. Probably right around a month in a month man I began to forget what my children's faces look like in my eye and I couldn't remember their face. For the life of me I couldn't put their faces in context and remember them nothing. And I realized I'd read about crap my brain still and lizard like a It's forgetting the things that no longer are relevant, more important for me to recognize that bury the game trail the status for yada yada yada. And as I began to forget the details of my of my life, my pin number to my ATM my phone number by address. As all of those began to dissolve What began to brew and bubble from the bottom where the money and what a lot of people don't and I hope won't ever happen experience is that whenever you have no distractions, not nothing can distract you from from what's trying to at all times reconcile itself in your subconscious whenever it finally makes its way in the memories they don't just come back politely they kick in your door they hold you to the ground and they hit you right where they're at and they recreate themselves they come back with audio somewhat smell they come back playing like full movie roles they're not memories anymore they're trauma reenact I was freezing in my shelter and negative 30 and 40 degree weather going on two weeks without food but in my mind I was the homeless five year old boy laying on the corrugated metal of the band that we were living in because we were homeless counting the minutes before I would get up and go get ready in the Jack in the Box bathroom they come back thank you so whenever I promised myself that I would sit down and I would confront them and I would meditate with them and I would come to a decision

it almost sounded like I had control so what happened for me and this is just my experience I'm sure it's different for everybody but as I went deeper into starvation because I don't know if I still have the record but I think I hope I held the record for the most weight loss loss and on the show as I began to starve again to free and I had nowhere else to be but in my bad basically what it became was one big long giant therapy session where I would have these memories triggered out of nowhere some of them violent living abroad where do you go where was I going to go

nowhere you lay there and your balls sorted out and well was the prime that was my dad to be honest, if I'd won that show would have been worse I had I would have kept on believing I was that way

Sam 38:12

yeah that that's a that's sorry it's such a deep a deep concept and a deeply personal story that you've shared that is interesting to think about of you know if you had one would that victory have allowed Oldbury to creep back in even after you'd had those those experiences with yourself and coming to grips with with yourself?

Barry Shay Karcher 38:43

I guess we'll never know.

Sam 38:46

Unless they unless they do another repeat season right?

Barry Shay Karcher 38:51

Like a redemption season. Yeah. Oh, that'll never happen on that ship say I mean

Sam 39:01

that ship sail them.

Barry Shay Karcher 39:04

I'm pretty sure it has I mean, I would love to I would do it. I've no I mean I've been now you know I've been before you know now I now the reasons I go into the mountains are because I we have a mutual respect for each other. Yeah, no more knowledge. More knowledge I definitely had when I went in. But yeah, I mean, I redemption season Probably not because I think they all knew that I was in a way of fraud out there trying to, you know, fight my way to the finish line. And but I'll be honest, they saved my life by pulling me on basic. I was that was really bad. It was really really bad. And I didn't really know how bad it was. And so I was at the hospital a couple hours later. And I got out of my clothes and I put on a gown. And I was finally able to see myself for the first time and I was down to about 152 pounds. I went out weighing about I went out weighing 240. So it was like, it was like looking at a completely different human being a skeletonized version of myself, I remember the first words I said to myself, I look, I was I had my gown on, I was washing my hands the first time in over two months or so. And I was amazed. First of all, I was shocked for a shell shock. The lights were like were screwing with me the TV, the sound, everything like now every korone every food I ever was I was feral. I was an animal. When I lifted up my doubt on my body, and I said to myself, I go, What have you done? I knew I had a very long road ahead of me, because I used to be a very physical human being to lift weights all the time, I was really big into all that, you know, I'm better than the bullshit. Just different. You know? So with my body.

Sam 41:23

Yeah, I can imagine that that would be I mean, haunting. Because, you know, for me, I just rewatched your clips and and you had a moment where you know, they had you lift your jacket and stuff out. So they could I think it was they could listen to you breathe and stuff. And it was like, wow, they know you you had definitely had had gone pretty far. I'm curious to how how this cleansing process, how that continued when you got home? And how that you know how the the trauma really of coming back into what is I guess quote unquote, normal society today? How that process continued to, to work through you.

Barry Shay Karcher 42:08

I'm still doing. I'm an astronaut, man, I don't have to explain this to you any better. And I try and help people understand this is one of the biggest parts of my depression. I'm so alone in this world, because what we go through out there on that show less than 1% of the population will ever. I mean, I'm in therapy, I talk to my therapist, and even she does have to tell me some days I can't help you. I don't know. I don't have it. I don't know, I don't know anything. I don't know how to do that. Or how to fix that. You know, you know, I came back and it was it was like I was like I was woken up from a coma? Well, first of all, whenever I came out, I think that I was open and ready to come home. Because I felt an extreme obligation to get back to my wife and said that I had left her alone with a seven week old baby and a two year old boy. So again, I didn't allow myself time to really recuperate the way I should have. They took care of me in regards like my receding. They want to make sure I didn't experience refeeding syndrome and kill myself. But they were really good with that and my nutrition. I will say this man, the aftercare program in regards to the mental health and I'm sure you've heard this before, but it's not the best. Yeah. A lot of it's left up there. And unfortunately, there's not a lot of help that's specialized enough for what we go through. Yeah, man, I don't, I will ever think I woke up from a coma. And somebody goes, this is your wife. This is your house. This is your job, your career. These are the clothes you like to wear. If you'd like to do this in your spare time. It was like somebody had to remind us of who I was. And then what really became a problem with them was that I didn't like it. I didn't like to be outside the office. Still though, I started talking to somebody else and somebody talks to me about him. And they're negative. I'm like, tell me more what what else was what else was about him? It's like somebody inhabiting my body. I don't know how to explain it any better. I came home, I don't like to exercise. Now I'll say active. I'm not going to go on a limb and pick up another part down. Like, I have time my most precious asset. Not going to do it anymore. I quit my career. Am I doing it? Again? That's not me or what how did I ever find joy in that career? And then ever my poor wife, no matter what now, you know, I mean, imagine having you think you found this partner this life partner you've connected on on all these levels, when you come back with a stranger, and you can't connect anymore, there's no connection, there's no way to connect them.

And when I tried to help people understand I live a very complicated after life in regards to the show, it's extremely complicated, because I do whatever I want. And it's not societal norm. It's not I don't work a nine to five job, I, I probably haven't thought about even saving money or doing or investing or anything like that. Or my money is not a goal it's hard to fit in with welding. And at first, it was a very, it was very scary, because I thought I would be able to reintegrate, I thought I'd be able to get right back into, I thought I'd be able to get right back, I thought I was gonna come back with a half a million dollars in a pool store. I can, I came back a different human being physically an entire world looking at me, judging me from my actions on the show, you know, not knowing that I was literally just a dad trying to make the money. And he's up in Vegas.

Sam 46:42

Yeah, you know, and you mentioned about the, about how hard it is coming back and how you're completely different. It just it's bringing back these memories of other people have talked about how they, you know, in conversations with me that they've, you know, hiding in bathrooms at work, you know, one example that I'm recalling, you know, immediately of someone who, you know, coming back and getting back into life, they literally at work had to go hide in the bathroom, because they just couldn't handle being in that office space. You know, and other people, you know, we discussed how, you know, there just is no one right and had this conversation, someone else of how there's just no one in the world that understands, I mean, there's such a small number of people, there's those from the show, and then, you know, really the only people that,

Barry Shay Karcher 47:31

you know, talk to each other. I mean, like we like, like they like to they like to put on like a big like Alone family. But it's not. It's not like that. It's not like, like, besides Justin Vititoe, and maybe Larry Roberts. Like, nobody's reached out, nobody reaches out to anybody. Like, unless you already knew each other or something. But like, I know, people who are hurting that from this show, and you ever got used up and get out by production? No, after they came back. They, they, they don't know how to cope. I mean, I'm not gonna know. But it's bad. You know. I know that they tried to get me involved in their aftercare program. But I have to be honest with you, dude, like, nobody call. Like, people know, I started, they know, I didn't when they know I froze, I was out there for taking nine days, which was quite a bit of time. Still, nobody ever calls. Nobody from the server calls and talks about their pains or problems. Because we just feel like nobody's going to get it. So personal. It's so personal and so unique. There's not really a coup biopolitical for it. You know what I mean?

Sam 48:53

I think

Barry Shay Karcher 48:56

it's very tough.

Sam 48:58

Yeah, I think Justin and I, I think we were we're off record. But we were talking about kind of the military aspect and, and how it's, it's very similar that there's just, you know, even like, even right now, like I, I respect and understand that, you know, everyone I've talked to your the tough conversation I've had, you know, I fully recognize and understand that everyone I'm talking to, like, while you're telling me these stories, you know, I feel like I'm a somewhat empathetic person and I try and understand but I mean, you and I both know and you especially know that I have absolutely no idea and it's does have to be so difficult to share your stories and share your life knowing that there's nothing you can do no words you can say no anything to truly have people understand any measure of what you've experienced.

Barry Shay Karcher 49:59

No and the beyond. honest man, it doesn't matter anyway. Okay, I gotta be honest, I feel like here's what I know. And here's one of the big thumbs up by people all the time that you should be a motivational speaker, oh, my god, like, your stories, your history, your background, you should, you should you should motivate people. And I just like, You have no idea how ridiculous the concept is, because I know that like you will motivate somebody one day and then 30 days later, there'll be right back to what they're doing right. But you run around patting yourself on your on your back going, I'm a motivational speaker, I'm changing Wow. Depressing money. Right? You know, so, you know, and it's not one of the worst things you could ever say to somebody, first of all, is that you understand you get it. But whenever I talk about starvation for me, they're talking about our eyes fast and once for Shut up. You know, I don't even try and connect with you. That was your choices all day, and I will personally see I can hit a button and left. But I gotta get to that. I gotta get used to that. I gotta get moving through all those commas. And so but yeah, it's just like, stop talking about it and stop sharing, stop communicating, because it never fails. There's always the one upper, there's always the guy who's got a bigger he's always the, there's always a lady who knows this or that. It's like, forget about it. I'm not gonna even talk about anymore because nobody really cares anyway. And all they're really doing is waiting for their turn to speak. So yeah, like I it's not something that I run around chit chatting about, on a regular it because from my time on the show on the reintegrating back into society, certain larger view, certainly bigger pictures come into into play and start realizing how really want to work with them. It really was. I mean, it was a TV show was a big deal for me. And for my little circle. No, I mean, but you know, very Karcher now is definitely ready for your next big thing.

Sam 52:31

Yeah, for sure. And I, you know, first of all, I just quickly say, Thank you, you mentioned just barely, and then even a little bit further that you typically don't do much talking about the show anymore. And it's funny actually, like this episode, I mean, where are 15 minutes, and we'll be, you know, wrapping up here pretty soon, but this is the most we've ever talked like, I mean, we're not talking about Alone, we're talking about kind of your, you know, you and how it impacted you. But I appreciate you being willing to to be open and share and be honest at these experiences. Because it's, I think it's important on so many levels, which again, is part of what I was trying to do is to show that I mean the the people that that people see on TV are real people, and there's real ramifications and repercussions to to every aspect of this show. And so I really appreciate you doing that and sharing those things with us. You've mentioned that you're you're on to the next big thing you're pivoting it seems like you're you're I don't want to say a career change but a I don't know what you would call it but you're trying to get into acting and other things can you share what you're up to these days and and all of that

Barry Shay Karcher 53:51

Yeah, absolutely. Well you know people whenever I found the show I found my piece I mean I have I have peace in my life I think it's the thing that most men live in quiet desperation most their life for the feeling that I have a thing so everything in my life is committed to sustaining that peace. I nearly died for it. So I'm gonna I'm gonna take care of anything I do. Anyone I involve in my life, any anything I manifest any words I speak into the shows are all about preserving that I work I do the work that I do because it brings me peace. And when I think about trading my time, which is my greatest asset, I don't view the world the same way anymore. The time is everything I have. So when I think about what I would want to trade my time for in its Join us for Hiya, money. The concept of acting just sets me on fire in Brawl. I feel I feel the eruption or cocooned inside of me and I won't wait to share it. When I get to pour myself into a role, pour myself into something important, the same way I did with the show around I poured myself into that. And that was it for a measly half a million that would have been tasked. I know what I'm portable love, and I know what I want to trade my time for. And right, follow my heart, which is all I do know. That's where? Yeah, no, that's, that's what I'm doing. That's what I'm doing. And that's what I will do. I don't know how I'm not a clown know how it's gonna happen. I don't have a clue. Nothing important years that I did set me up to be an actor. But I don't care. What I want to do.

Sam 56:10

It seems like you you've done some gigs with I don't know if it's Colorado tourism or Colorado Parks. It seems like

Barry Shay Karcher 56:17

that was a commercial. That was cool. Yeah, that was really fun. For the Colorado Department of Tourism. Yeah, they played that was on YouTube. And then they were like to others that played on gas stations around the Denver metropolitan area and stuff like that. That was kind of neat. But the I think that was a perfect of a perfect example of where I could see my future going, you know, a lot of fun. A lot of fun.

Sam 56:50

That's great. Can you share things that you're doing and steps you're taking to to work in that direction? I guess even further in that direction than you already are.

Barry Shay Karcher 57:00

Yep. Oh, yeah, I've been, I've been I've been blessed to have been working with an incredible, incredible acting coach for over a year now. He has been just an incredible delight. I'm also now venturing more into the theater, in the theater realm of things, even though film and that is my big passion, I am looking forward to doing some more local work just to help build my resume a little more. One of the things that I'm finding is that even though I, I know I can do it, I will do it. They love a resume. And just like alone, love the resume. So I'm gonna have to, we have to do a few things here, I guess we call another transition, and start trying to build their resume up in current contact with two passing directories, and one out of Denver, and then we're Pella Fornia. Currently, we're also trying to work on getting into the business. So by putting myself out there and making it known that this is what I want to do. And it's kind of interesting. I don't know how much you know about how much I want to talk about it really, but, you know, focus posts I'm vibrating exactly what I need in my life, and it's coming in. So I'm really grateful for the people that I'm working with and who are guiding and leading to the people who can assist and of course, I'm getting turned down Well, I feel that's part of the fun, no big deal. It's kind of cool. If I did if I if I if I hit a home run out of the park on the first day, I don't know if I would trust it. I don't mind I don't mind. The rejection. But yeah, that's what I've been doing lately, just depends on myself prepared. Working with my with my coach working on my resume. I'm also trying to another hire a company to learn from this elite bonus, my, my incredible style about a new type of acting resume, where it's a it's a it's a real, like a real, you have three or four scenarios that are like more super, super short scenarios and then you send it in and they do all the editing and they cut it all together for you. That was a really cool kind of resume. And you see the new avenues, these new avenues these new person offers a unique into into the client, talking directly with just trying to keep up with it all and trying to make a selection that will make a difference.

Sam 59:45

That's great. When When did you start you know actively pursuing this? You know, I'll call it acting but kind of this creating and emoting putting yourself out there. When did you actively start pursuing this phase in this chapter?

Barry Shay Karcher 1:00:01

All right, well so as we started we're seeing this probably right around the time that we were paying us I got back and I started being able to function physically there's a long road physically to recover and really started exploring what what set me on fire. You know what I didn't want to be anything that wasn't going to I wasn't going to do anything that I didn't want to do anymore. Able to major is a major problem for people in my life. But I learned to say no, for I think a year after I got back, to be honest, having nothing performing my whole life. I was a performing as a little kid, I always use humor and performing in my family to help ease our woes. You know, we didn't always have the television so I would get up there and I would rap, Beastie Boys or I would do a skit for McCarthy show or something like that. I sang in bands in high school and out of high school or attending high school Chorus I have always been willing to put myself out there and do it and perform never had a problem being judged or ridiculed. I always thought that was the coolest part actually, we can't call them haters nowadays but I always thought that the most famous people were the ones who were getting all the all the work of diversity is that a member? I don't know. So anyways, I started as a kid it was always my coping mechanism was always how i i found in a world that didn't provide that make sense?

Sam 1:01:49

Yeah, for sure.

Barry Shay Karcher 1:01:52

But I ramble I'm going on I digress.

Sam 1:01:55

No, you're you're great. Well, we'll start wrapping up here I just do you have you know public socials or anywhere that that you want people to find you or you like people to find you. Do you keep that private?

Barry Shay Karcher 1:02:09

No, no, not at all. I I have an Instagram very car to my name and I did it. I've had it for a long time. I have a I have a quick cochlear and I love the editing platform on that on that on that app it's really really cool. I've been able to do a lot of my comedic short on that one and then I have my Facebook I have my public Facebook for the alone page but I don't put in not gonna find that the moment and then I have my my own private Facebook page. But if you credit class, probably not. Your best option to follow me on Instagram.

Sam 1:02:50

Perfect. So you've got Instagram and then what is your what's your handle for Tik Tok?

Barry Shay Karcher 1:02:56

Is my name because you let them know that I'm the only one Karcher and yahoo.com offer mini script allows you to

Sam 1:03:11

call one I'll get all of those links in the description to the show. Barry as we as we wrap up again, thank you so much for your time and for your openness. Is there any kind of last words that you want to share any you know last? tidbits of advice or information? Anything you want to set record straight on or anything like that before we close?

Barry Shay Karcher 1:03:34

Okay, one last thing you ready? Bring it okay. Whenever you die 99.9999999998% of the population What do you really know about it? We're gonna go and then eventually there's going to be another global enemies as you Harry had five workers and eventually the whole planet is going to go cold individually.

And it's all just going to be forgotten about and I don't want anybody to ever forget every day you make a decision every opportunity you have to be happy opportunity you have the chance to follow your heart.

I can't you have to do the right thing. Every champion has to feel the womb to mend the relationship every chance you have. I'm crazy because it's really all gonna go cold in

Sam 1:04:51

Okay, well very thank you for that. And again, thank you for your time and thank you for your story and for your wisdom and sharing things that you've not only learned but that you've experienced. So with that you have a good night and I am super excited to follow and see where your future takes you.

Barry Shay Karcher 1:05:11

I'm signing off from Colorado! Good luck.